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“You must understand this, my dear brothers. Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. For human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.” James 1:19-20 (ISV)
From Nick’s Life, Age 17
Since I didn’t have a job at the time, I’d wash my parent’s car to get extra spending money. There’s one car wash I’ll never forget!
Dad was coming home from a business trip, so I thought I’d surprise him and have his car washed and waiting. As I was backing it out from the garage I heard a loud crack! The side mirror had hit the wooden post of our porch. The post was fine. The car mirror? Not so much. It was hanging limply, dangling by a couple wires.
Duct tape to the rescue! Seriously.
My mom actually used duct tape to hold the mirror together and secure it to the car door. If you didn’t look closely, you couldn’t even tell it was broken. But I had to be honest. I had to tell my dad what happened.
He wasn’t exactly thrilled about the inconvenience or cost of getting it fixed, but he never raised his voice in anger. He never made me feel bad about my mistake, either. That’s what self-control means to me: reacting calmly to a situation that would normally cause someone to lose their cool. Dad chose to react with patience and kindness because he knew I had already learned my lesson. From then on, I watched carefully and backed the car out slowly!
Every now and then I think of that sickening sound, the sight of a mangled mirror, and the miracle of duct tape! Then I smile, recalling my dad’s gentle, controlled response when anger had to have been his first thought. Dad taught me what self-control is all about. It’s a lesson I still remember today!
Conversation Starters
- Nick credits his dad with demonstrating self-control, a lesson he remembers even now. What may have been the outcome if anger had been his dad’s reaction?
- Talk about what self-control means to you? Give a couple examples of how you can apply it in your life.
- Discuss why you think God considers self-control to be an important character quality.
An Adult Perspective
Have you ever lost your cool? I sure have. It’s a good thing my family is loving and big on forgiveness! Here’s the thing; I usually know when I’m starting to lose control and cross over that line. Then my anger explodes and the next thing you know, I don’t have a clue how to undo the path of destruction I’ve caused.
I’m grateful God is also loving and big on forgiveness!
It’s tempting, almost natural, to list excuses in an effort to rationalize away out-of-control behavior. But scripture is pretty clear about its’ destructive power: “A person without self-control is like a house with its doors and windows knocked out.” Proverbs 25:28 (MSG) Sounds like a job even too big for duct tape! More importantly, pleasing God should be my number one priority.
Living a life based on biblical principles is hard work. It may take a lifetime, but I’m committed to purposefully allowing God’s word to penetrate my thoughts and have an effect on my behavior. God assures me my reward will be eternal!
Encourage each other by acknowledging examples of self-control in your family life.
